Welcome!

This is a journal of our lives with my mom, affectionately known as Little Mama. In her 90's, she is a sweet, spunky, spirited, sometimes exasperating, tiny little lady that now lives with moderate dementia and macular degeneration. These journal entries show the good times and the not-so-good times.

Little Mama's type of dementia is age-related and is not hereditary. Sometimes, she appears to be perfectly normal. Other times, it is obvious that something is amiss. It is her desire to remain in our home rather than live out her days in an assisted living facility. It is my prayer that we will be able to honor her in this way. We feel blessed...and challenged...that she lives in our home. This is not easy, and important things rarely are easy. It takes an emotional and physical toll on the caregivers. I've been through the 7 stages of grief at least once if not more! If you are in a similar situation, you understand what I mean! Fortunately, our family helps a lot both physically and emotionally. It takes a team.

The fourth commandment tells us to honor our parents. That is done in many different ways. If you are struggling with a decision, please pray and ask for guidance and wisdom. Our Lord will let you know how He wants you to honor them. Regardless of the way you honor your loved ones, you will need support. So build your team, whether it is from members of your family or a support group.

I am finally learning that: I can't fix it. I can't change it. All I can do is accept it, trust God, and roll with it. (My condensed version of the Serenity Prayer.) We are learning to relax, laugh, and savor every moment we have with my mom on this side of Heaven.

So, scroll down.... read the entries...laugh and cry with us.

Blessings!
Lisa

















Sunday, April 28, 2013

Where am I?

Little Mama said good-night, made sure which direction to go to make it to her bedroom, walked safely into her bedroom and closed the door.  Soon, the door opened and she called out "Could somebody come help me please?"  She had her pajama top on and was unsure where she was and what she needed to do next.  I instructed to take off her shoes, her socks, her pants, and put her pajama pants on.  Then we went to her bathroom to brush her teeth.  All done, we hugged and she climbed into bed.  Maybe 2 minutes after I turned out her light and closed her door, her door flew open and she called out again, "I need some help!"  When I got to her room, I asked, "What do you need help with, Mama?"  She said, "I need to know where I am...if I'm in the right place."  I reassured her that she was in HER bed which is in HER room.  All is well.  She climbed back in bed and thanked me for helping her.  I love you's were exchanged and I closed the door once again.  Every now and then.... well, pretty often actually...things like this rip out my heart. When I'm with her, I act all tough.  It will only make things worse if she senses that I'm upset.  BUT can you imagine how scary it is for her?  I only THINK I'm off balance with her knowing me one minute and not the next.  It's REALLY off balance and scary and tough and a whole bunch of other adjectives that I probably don't even know or can't pronounce.  Say a prayer for her tonight...
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