Suck it up!

This evening, I left the room for about 3 minutes.  When I returned, Little Mama said, "There she is... I need to talk to you."  I sat down next to her and she said, "I need to give you all of my things...I don't have any use for it...I'm not going to need it." With that, her chin began to quiver and tears started to flow.  I reassured her that all was well.  She lives with us, and she IS using her things and so are we.  I explained that she is sleeping in her bed and all the furniture in her bedroom belongs to her.  She was comforted for about 30 seconds...and we went through it again.  The second time, she cried longer and harder than before.  Just sitting next to her and holding her hand seemed to help.  A few days ago, I began reading a book that is very helpful in dealing with the sadness...actually all of the emotions.  It's entitled Validation Techniques for Dementia Care.  It explains that the dementia patient is working through unfinished business...unresolved issues...when they express their concern or have strong emotions.  That helped me a lot, as I hate to see my Little Mama cry.  I will usually do what I can to escape when the tears start to flow.  This book helped me see that, although I can't fix it, I don't have to fear it.  Just being there, listening, and reassuring is enough.  To use a family term, it helped me "suck it up and deal."