Welcome!

This is a journal of our lives with my mom, affectionately known as Little Mama. In her 90's, she is a sweet, spunky, spirited, sometimes exasperating, tiny little lady that now lives with moderate dementia and macular degeneration. These journal entries show the good times and the not-so-good times.

Little Mama's type of dementia is age-related and is not hereditary. Sometimes, she appears to be perfectly normal. Other times, it is obvious that something is amiss. It is her desire to remain in our home rather than live out her days in an assisted living facility. It is my prayer that we will be able to honor her in this way. We feel blessed...and challenged...that she lives in our home. This is not easy, and important things rarely are easy. It takes an emotional and physical toll on the caregivers. I've been through the 7 stages of grief at least once if not more! If you are in a similar situation, you understand what I mean! Fortunately, our family helps a lot both physically and emotionally. It takes a team.

The fourth commandment tells us to honor our parents. That is done in many different ways. If you are struggling with a decision, please pray and ask for guidance and wisdom. Our Lord will let you know how He wants you to honor them. Regardless of the way you honor your loved ones, you will need support. So build your team, whether it is from members of your family or a support group.

I am finally learning that: I can't fix it. I can't change it. All I can do is accept it, trust God, and roll with it. (My condensed version of the Serenity Prayer.) We are learning to relax, laugh, and savor every moment we have with my mom on this side of Heaven.

So, scroll down.... read the entries...laugh and cry with us.

Blessings!
Lisa

















Saturday, April 20, 2013

October 2-6: Who IS that?


October 2, 2012
It is obvious that my mom has transitioned to a different phase. For everything, there is a season.

On Saturday, 9/29, I was about to leave the house.  As I walked past her, I tickled her shoulder and said, “I’ll be right back.”   When I reached the front door, I heard ask my husband, “Who was that?”  When I returned, I went into the kitchen and began to cook supper.  She again turned to my husband and said, “Who IS that?”  My little mama hasn't known who I am since Friday (9/28). And she has been irritable. The little lady that sits across from me is not the lady that raised me. When you are taking care of your mom (vs. a patient with whom you have no history), it is hard sometimes to reconcile the differences between the past and present without being irritable. Prayers are definitely needed. :) 


October 4, 2012
Reminiscing with my mom.... telling her about my childhood... growing up on a lot of land with a pond...ducks, guineas, chickens, pigeons...a cow named Pearl, a cow named Xenia (Pearl's baby), a bull named Ferdinand, a horse named Josie, and a horse named Topper AND a parakeet named Joey. Joey would say, "Joey is a pretty bird! RICHARD! RICHARD!" My brother, Richard, was ALWAYS getting yelled at. Todd was a teenager, always out and about. And I stayed under the radar. :) 
The reminiscing actually was tough on my mom.  She began to cry b/c she had very little memory of anything.  I followed the “rules” and just talked about all the fun we had and didn’t ask “Remember?”  We put on some music to distract her and all was well.

October 6, 2012
Well.... Little Mama and I have had an interesting conversation this morning. So glad she has maintained her ability to have "small talk". It allows her to be very congenial and cover quite well. Here are some of the questions she has asked me this morning...each one multiple times:
 How have you been?
 Where is your family?
 How many children do you have?
 Do you have grandchildren?
 What do you do?

She hasn't been here long...but she likes it. The people are nice and pleasant. It's a pretty place. It's nice to have pets around. She doesn't get to see many people...but that's okay. People get busy and have their own lives to lead. She doesn't get to see her children very often...not sure where they are...but that's okay, too. And where is your family, she asks. Kind of cloudy out...or is it. She had a good night, slept well, she said.

When she asked me "What do you do," I told her that I'm a realtor and I take care of my mom. "Oh," she said, "How old is she?" I replied, "She is 91 and has dementia. She lives with us." I am amazed at the ability of the human spirit to adapt to a situation. Just imagine being totally lost with nothing looking familiar - not even your own daughter sitting next to you - and still being socially acceptable. The art of survival. :)

And that has been the start of my day.

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