Welcome!

This is a journal of our lives with my mom, affectionately known as Little Mama. In her 90's, she is a sweet, spunky, spirited, sometimes exasperating, tiny little lady that now lives with moderate dementia and macular degeneration. These journal entries show the good times and the not-so-good times.

Little Mama's type of dementia is age-related and is not hereditary. Sometimes, she appears to be perfectly normal. Other times, it is obvious that something is amiss. It is her desire to remain in our home rather than live out her days in an assisted living facility. It is my prayer that we will be able to honor her in this way. We feel blessed...and challenged...that she lives in our home. This is not easy, and important things rarely are easy. It takes an emotional and physical toll on the caregivers. I've been through the 7 stages of grief at least once if not more! If you are in a similar situation, you understand what I mean! Fortunately, our family helps a lot both physically and emotionally. It takes a team.

The fourth commandment tells us to honor our parents. That is done in many different ways. If you are struggling with a decision, please pray and ask for guidance and wisdom. Our Lord will let you know how He wants you to honor them. Regardless of the way you honor your loved ones, you will need support. So build your team, whether it is from members of your family or a support group.

I am finally learning that: I can't fix it. I can't change it. All I can do is accept it, trust God, and roll with it. (My condensed version of the Serenity Prayer.) We are learning to relax, laugh, and savor every moment we have with my mom on this side of Heaven.

So, scroll down.... read the entries...laugh and cry with us.

Blessings!
Lisa

















Sunday, July 25, 2010

Things I'm learning

Just a handful of things that are important to do:

Walk beside them. Do you remember that poem about friendship? I can't quote it but, to paraphrase, it says not to walk in front b/c might not follow, not to walk behind b/c I might not lead... just walk beside and be my friend... be there with me.

Learn empathy. Huh... One would think that is something you are born with. And now we are told that we can actually learn it. I think it comes with doing the next one.

Learn to listen and talk with them rather than restraining, patronizing, or telling them what to do. Now sometimes, this is easier said than done. Like when Little Ellie has a sharp knife in her hand and wants to either open a package or cut a tomato. That might be okay if she could SEE! I see their point...but ....

Learn to respect them. Have you noticed that children don't seem to be taught to respect their elders like they were at one time? Everybody is equal! NOT! Certainly children and youth should be treated with respect...but we need to be sure to teach our children to respect the elderly. Hey, if it weren't for our elderly, none of us would be here.

Find pleasure in being with your elderly loved one. Sometimes this can be difficult. You are so tired from trying to keep up with everything and everyone. You are just trying to make it through the day. Take time to stop and smell the roses. Live in the moment. You will be surprised how much you enjoy them.

BLESSINGS!
Posted by at

2 comments:

  1. The BoydsJuly 25, 2010 at 4:46 PM

    This is a good list, & not just in caring for the elderly, but in tending our relationships with everyone. In going along with the last one, she really enjoyed being read aloud to when she was here. I still highly recommend Stepping Heavenward; she particularly liked that one. I'll bet she'd enjoy just hearing the Bible read, too. This is a great post!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LisaJuly 25, 2010 at 9:17 PM

    Thanks, Chrissy girl... I will be reading the Bible to her. I know Stepping Heavenward is good....but I gotta find a book that I can read without crying! :)

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)